Monday, January 4, 2010

Oh, the Joys

I'm not sure where the last two weeks have gone, but gone they are. In a nutshell, Christmas was great....relaxing, special, magical. It was a tough few days before that, as Abigail's birthday was the 21st, and she pretty well thought the world revolved around her for a little while there. I guess it kind of did. I want her birthdays to be special, just like we all do, and I don't ever want her to feel that having a birthday so close to Christmas has made her "miss out." But I think she walked around with an invisible crown and scepter that week, and pretty well expected gifts at every corner. We had to have a lot of family "talks" and deal with several meltdowns. It has calmed down since then, and hopefully she is feeling back to reality now.

I guess all of that got me to thinking about how I am doing, you know, as Abigail's mommy. I think when I became a mommy, I was "prepared" for all that I was "unprepared" for. I knew there would be a ton of stuff we didn't know how to do, and that you figure it out as you go. There definitely is no manual. However, I was not prepared for how much I would second-guess myself. Paul and I work hard to make special moments with her. We spend time with her. Heck, I have the opportunity to stay at home with her, which gives me almost non-stop time with her, four years running.

But then there is that second-guessing...

Paul and I have discussions with each other about what we could do differently in our parenting styles. If there is one thing that has become crystal clear to me, it is that Paul and I are a team. Yes, I have those "breakdown" moments when I feel like I "do it all", but the truth is, I couldn't do any of this without him. We back each other. We are unified. There are moments when she asks me a question, or acts a certain way, and I just don't even know how to respond. That is usually when he responds perfectly.

Trust me, I love, love, love being a mommy. It was always my highest "career goal." The rewards outweigh the frustrations. It causes me to pray a lot.

But, I ask you, Mommies of the World, is there ever a "parenting" moment when you feel like you did it right? When you don't wonder afterwards....was that too harsh? Was it not harsh enough? Did they learn a lesson, or did I just come across as a big meanie? Will my child be better off for the way I just handled that situation?

Do you ever feel like you get it right?

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