Then there are days like today. Days when fits abound. Days when she has to say eleventy-thousand words without stopping for a breath, but constantly saying my name. Days when she changes her clothes three times just because she feels like it, throwing her discarded ones on the floor as if the laundry fairy will come pick them up. Days when I feel like Momzilla.
These are the days that fill me with guilt. Guilt that my patience is too thin. Guilt that I snap too easily. Guilt that some days, well, my kid just gets on my nerves. Ugh, I feel like lightening will strike me just for typing that sentence.
I know all in all, she's pretty awesome. I know if I really sat down to ponder it, my stomach might actually do a flip. But the days like today....are enough to drive a mama up a wall.
*Any words of encouragement from Mamas who have gotten through it would be highly appreciated. Because I pretty much think I suck right now. And I pretty much think you are awesome.
6 comments:
Your Mama advises to send her over to Jack and Teri's house at 8 am to play and get a snack. Then Teri will send her back along with Angie for the afternoon and then Daddy comes home and you eat and she will be too tired to have a fit! Wait till the swimming starts...she will use up the energy. Take her on the Jillian shred with you. :)
I have found that covering my 3 yr old in kisses all over his neck while tickling him diffuses the grumpies pretty well... sometimes. When he feels like letting them :) But since I go through exactly the same thing... I can't be of much help with how to get through it. I can empathize with you though.
Yes, there are days when I love my children with every ounce of my being...but I don't particularly LIKE them very much. :-) I really don't think that God is too different, actually. I mean, I'm not trying to give you some type of Messiah complex, but sometimes my toughest "Mommy" days are the days that give me a bit more of a taste of what God must feel like. He loves his children, but he definitely doesn't like everything we do. We throw fits when we don't get our way. We often say, "God, do this for me!" and "God, make this go the way I want it to go!" without being willing to put forth any effort of our own. We make poor choices on our own...and just step back and expect that God will clean up our messes and that there won't be any earthly consequences to our decisions. We pretty much stink when it comes to being good children of God.
So, the next time Abigail has "one of those days," just take a second to thank God that he continues to love us and continues to pick us up when we stumble over our own mistakes. Then, make Abigail sit down in front of a movie ("No honey, pick a LONGER one than that!"), give her cereal for lunch, and put your own feet up while you read a magazine on the couch. :-)
Dear Amy,
I had a true catharsis one day while talking to my friend who is a child/adolescent psychiatrist. This woman has an M.D. She went to school for many, many years to learn how to deal with and help children. Not only that but she is a outstanding woman of prayer AND a pastor's kid. One day I was talking to her on the phone and she was having your same kind of day with her children that you are having with your precious angel. It was then, this professional psychiatrist with all her training and degrees, told me "Some days I just want to pinch their little heads off." That made me feel like I was not such a horrible mom even when I felt like one. If even the pros have problems it's no wonder we laypeople sometimes come to the end of ourselves. That's why God made dads, so they can come take the childzillas on loooooong play dates.
charlotte
Did you post this for me Amy?? Cuz...I AM SO THERE!!
Lately I've been wanting to crawl in a hole by myself some days rather than play with my children and give them attention like I "should"...then I think about how they won't be young for long and I don't want to waste my time I have with them...the "fact" that if I snap at them or (gasp!)yell almost cusswords they will be ruined for life...guilt, guilt, guilt...
Anyway, I'm with you. You are not alone! And Christianne and Charlotte are awesome at encouragement. :)
I work all day & somtimes get home & think - can I go back to work? It happens... :)
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