Bugs and Bumps....Big Ones

There are two random things on my mind right now that are unrelated to each other and really offer nothing of great value to you, my sweet readers. So here we go.

First, I have realized that everywhere we have ever lived or ever will live in the future has a bug of that region. The Bug o' Choice, if you will. When we were in Louisville for our first year of marriage, our apartment had silverfish. These are slithery, slimy little critters that usually were found chillin' (or chillaxin as the kids like to say these days) on our window sills in our bedroom. The didn't really run or walk, but more, well, slithered up the walls around the windows. They were fast like lightening, and if you did manage to catch one in a tissue, they kind of just turned to dust. Very weird. These may be the worst of what we have had to date...the ones that make me feel a shiver up my spine to think about. Of course, there was one time, and one time only, in that apartment that I ran across the mother of all spiders. I was making the bed and when I pulled the comforter up from the floor, a thing was waiting there for me. It had hair. And a bright red spot on its back. That's something poisonous and deadly, right? Yeah, that's what I thought. Killed it. With a very large mens size 13.

Then we moved to Muncie. Our rental house there, that was oh so quaint and I just absolutely loved it, had earwigs. I didn't know what they were when I saw them, but they looked dangerous. They have horn-like things that come out of their butt. They tended to catch some rays on our screened in back porch and make their way into the kitchen when they felt the urge to look for crumbs on the counter. I included a note to our landlord with our rent payment and drew a picture of one. When we moved to Marshall, one of them stowed away in our shower pouf. I told him, "Oh no, buddy. Not on my watch." And his stay in Marshall was very short-lived.

When we bought our house in Muncie, we had spiders. Spiders, Spiders, everywhere. They pretty much only came around in the fall, since we had a cornfield in our backyard that tends to bring out the fun things in life and drive them straight into your living room. These spiders were usually about the size of a quarter and were brown. We bought an industrial size can of spider cleaner at Lowes and sprayed directly on them. We showed no mercy.

Last summer we moved to Marshall. Aside from the very first morning that I woke up in our new bedroom and saw a slug on our floor, they have not really been a problem. Oh, but that was a fun thing to squint out that morning...no glasses on yet, and I am squinting, going " What is that gray...thing...on our carpet?" He actually got taken outside to safety, because as much as I LOVE dousing a slug in salt and watching them turn into a big pile of goo, I figured that would not be the best "Welcome Coopers" gift I could leave on our carpet for the parsonage committee. But seriously now, we have the crickets. They come only in the summer and I'm not sure exactly how they get in the house. My friend Elizabeth warned me last summer about camelback crickets and told me that I better find a guy with a size 24 shoe and a good throwing arm, because these suckers will be in your bedroom one minute and your living room the next before you have even grabbed the ammo. Well, I'm not sure how many of them have been of the camelback variety, but I do know that every time I pick up a load of laundry in my room, one jumps out of it, and there is one that has been sweetly serenading us to sleep for four nights now. Loudly. I appreciate his gesture, really, but he can move on down the road anytime now.

As for bumps, keep Abigail in your prayers. She took a spill at the BCM house in Muncie today and her forehead caught her fall on the cement steps outside. She immediately had a red and purple goose egg the size of a golf ball on her hairline and a pretty good little cut on her cheek. We went ahead and took a trip to the doctor (I know, first child syndrome) and had her checked for all signs of concussion. She was fine, especially once the nurse gave her a sucker for instant relief (her third one of the day, mind you). We went to the pharmacy at the doctor's office for some antibacterial ointment, some BandAids for her scraped knee (Spongebob, per her request), and some Tylenol to dull the pain. As we were leaving, she said, "Mommy, smell my breath." I said, "What does it smell like?" She said, "Tylenol."

Really, folks, I think she's gonna be just fine.

But she may have an ugly bump and bruise for a couple of weeks, so we'll just pray that she is a fast healer. I'm not sure I can have Spongebob Squarepants grinning from beneath her hairline.