The Best I Can Do

I am going to sum up thoughts of my last week and a half in random statements, as that is pretty much how my mushy brain is working right now. Warning: Some statements may seem, to the "normal person" a tad overly dramatic. Remember, I am a hormone-laden woman. Don't judge.

Our lives now live and die by the clock. I have three hours between feeding Sadie. Actually, not true. After she is finished eating, I have about two hours and twenty-five minutes. It's amazing the list of things you are NOT able to get done in that amount of time.

Breastfeeding hurts and makes a pastor's wife want to say lots of bad words. I do remember from experience with Abigail that it will get better soon. But this week, it hurts. I pretty much cry every time she eats, and want to cry when I realize it is time for her to eat. It's a good thing she is super cute to look at.

If I could stand in a hot shower for three hours a day, with nothing but the sound of the bathroom vent and thoughts of new blogs running through my head, I would be a much more relaxed Mommy.

Sadie is actually a really good sleeper so far, and only eats during her "expected" times. I love when they tell you to "sleep when the baby sleeps" because that would mean I am sleeping 22 hours a day, so what's all the fuss about?

Abigail is wonderful with Sadie. We've still had some moments during the week, but no more than we did before Sadie came. She kisses and hugs her, and leaves her alone while she sleeps. She's a good big sis.

Today, Abigail told me, "Mommy, I'm old enough to have a cell phone. I'm pretending I'm seven." Well. So that is the going age for cell phones now, is it?

Yesterday, Abigail took her coat over to Paul and said, "Here, be a prince." She meant that he needed to help her put her coat on. If I had had my wits about me (they've been a little sparse lately), I would have said, "Oh, he IS one. A great big, awesome prince." And I would have meant it. Because he went to WalMart last night and bought me a breast pump, with not a hint of grumbling. Then he took Sadie on her first dinner date with a bottle, and gave my screaming ta-tas a rest for one feeding. And I adore him for it.

Chocolate milk....three times a day. Hey, it helps.

I forgot that even when you just changed a baby's diaper and then you hear that sound...of it being filled again....you still pick them up and kiss them and tell them "good job."

I want to do a lot more things with Abigail than I feel the energy to do right now. And that makes me sad. Of course, so do Olympics commercials about Moms.

Well, folks, she is waking up from her slumber. I see the signs that in another minute she will be letting me know it is time to drop all that I am doing. It reminds me of the Venus FlyTrap from Little Shop of Horrors...."FEED ME, SEYMOUR!" So, I am going to run and put on my make-up so that she will at least have something pretty to look at. Kiss, kiss. :)