Monday, January 5, 2009
On Goals and Such
Of course the first post of the new year should be about goals, right? Isn't that the obligatory rule of blogging?
Rule 1. Write posts with funny stories about your children. (Check)
Rule 2. Write posts of what God is teaching you in the midst of parenting. (Check)
Rule 3. Write the day after the election about how sovereign God is. (Semi-check)
Rule 4. Write a post before Christmas all about Jesus, Mary, or the stable. (Whoops, I forgot this and instead posted about throwing a fit in the middle of my kitchen floor)
Rule 5. Write about goals or resolutions at the beginning of the year. Make as many new goals as possible. Try to stick to new plan as closely as possible.
I've never been one who is much for resolutions. My dominant personality trait is called Peaceful Phlegmatic, which means that I need a good kick in the seat of the pants to start anything. To me, resolutions are just setting myself up for failure. I think one of the traits of a phlegmatic, or at least of myself, is to see just how big a job is, and then realize it is easier to just do nothing than to take little steps to do something.
However, for some reason as of late, I have seen glaring spots of lack of discipline in my life. I don't want to be a person who lacks discipline. I think when you stay home with your kids, at least those who aren't in school yet, you realize that there is not a whole lot that is "scheduled" in your life. Besides Sesame Street and Super WHY, that is. If you are going to be disciplined, it takes a lot of effort, because it really is just as easy to do laundry in your pajamas as it is to take a shower first (easier, really). It is just as easy to check your email 14 times a day when the computer is on and sitting so lonely in the office. It is just as easy to do a load of dishes or laundry and feel like it is deserving of some sort of reward, like sitting down to read that book that has caught your attention, or drink a second cup of coffee. There are days when you don't leave the house at all. Really, if we don't have somewhere to go, especially in the winter months, we don't. Leaving the house will usually result in some unnecessary spending of money, so it is just easier to stay home.
As much as I absolutely love with a passion staying home with Abigail, I don't always like the person that I have become through staying home. I want to have more of a regimin to my day, but more importantly, I don't want to feel that my time home is wasted. There is a big difference between feeling that my time home is useful to my family in keeping the house running smoothly, or in playing with and teaching Abigail and being a part of really special little moments....and just puttering around the house without feeling like anything of importance is really being done.
My goals this year are pretty simple as an umbrella goal, but have many facets. My umbrella goal is to be a person of more discipline. Mainly with how I use my time, but also more. I want to have more discipline in spending time with God. I don't mean that I want to spend time with God because I feel guilty otherwise. I just want my time with God to take more priority in my day, so that it is not easily pushed aside for other things. My friend, Camil, gave me a Beth Moore book about the disciple John that is a 90-day study. I figure that will be a good start (and started the book today...very good!). I want to make better decisions for my health. That includes the way I cook for my family as well as actually trying to exercise at all. The thing is, I don't feel like a healthy person right now. I feel sluggish and tired, and that is not who I want to be. I know I can make better daily choices. I guess besides that, I just don't want to feel like I waste time. Time is precious, and I have "more" of it than a lot of people who have much more on their plates than I do. I don't want to take that for granted, but be grateful for it and use it wisely. I think that these things will honor God, ultimately, that I am a good steward of them.
And, as my friend Lindsay so beautifully wrote on her blog, there is grace. God's mercies are new each morning, and I know that we all have room to fall. There will be times when I won't make the best choices with my time, my habits, my food, my excercise, but that doesn't mean that I just need to give up altogether. I just need to realize that God is gracious to me, and that change is a process.
So, obligatory blog of 2009, here is to becoming more of who I know I can be!